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Small Talk in Afghanistan
A few months ago, I was sitting around on a Saturday morning before a rugby game when I got an email on my blackberry from Greg Jaffe, who was in Afghanistan. I started reading this email aloud to some of my teammates, pausing every few seconds because I was laughing too hard to continue. I told Greg that he had to publish this email in some format or else I would post it on Abu Muqawama. Greg finally dressed the email up for publication in the Washington Post (meaning he deleted several items: the F Word about 34 times, a not-fit-for-the-Post story about coming home from war and seeing a girl you knew from high school working in a strip club, and -- most sadly -- the self-mocking references to his own condition as a print journalist in a war zone), and you can read it here. This dialogue will be instantly recognizable to anyone who has ever spent any time stuck in some godforsaken place with an infantry platoon filled with 19-year old American men. Hilarious.
[I like Greg a lot, not only because he had the sense to marry a nice girl from Chattanooga, but also because he is one of those smart, humble journalists, completely lacking any ego, who really take the time to get to know soldiers, officers and U.S. Army culture. One of the good guys.]
I prefer the Lady Gaga and
I prefer the Lady Gaga and "Glee" reenactments on youtube. The Capts talking about grad school (or working for "solutions" companies in DC) is right on though.
Glad to see this finally in
Glad to see this finally in print, though I'm not gonna lie -- the uncensored version has a little je ne sais quoi about it.
I still remember sitting in
I still remember sitting in the Kuwaiti desert in 2003 when several of my Soldiers got into an hour-long argument over whether objects fall at the same velocity in a vacuum. I still remember a SAW gunner stating that if you think a hammer and a ball of paper will fall at the same speed on the surface of the moon, then you're "crazy as hell."
God, as a young Sergeant
God, as a young Sergeant getting out of the Army after 4 amazing years in the Infantry, I have to say I will miss the banter the most. Telling the person the most gleefully dirty nasty stories about the weekend, coming up with the stupidest sex positions or tricks (The Pterodactyl!) Debating about the stupidity of people rocking the confederate flags, the best boy band of the 90's (totally Nsync.)
Nothing beats watching people to blows over the Peanut Butter vs Cheese debate in MREs though.
My Ranger buddy was allergic
My Ranger buddy was allergic to peanut butter. There is a God.
As a young LT I walked in on
As a young LT I walked in on a contest where 7 enlisted guys were beating it off and squirting their load on a GRANDMA'S® Homestyle Peanut Butter Big Cookie. Having just graduated a year before from UPenn, I didn't quite know what to do. One guy nutted, some cheered, then the next, then the next squirted his load on the big cookie. Eventually, only one joe was left. And the look of utter defeat was something I will always remember to this day. But like a Phoenix, this young Cpl soldiered up, and summoned an uncanny courage, and ate the whole jiz filled cookie in two gulps. At that instance I saw him as a victim, and also a hero. And as a young LT, I felt that something had to be done, but alas I had no evidence. So, the lesson I took that day, and something I always share with soon to be LTs, is Don't walk in on your enlisted, because what you'll see will be both inexplicable and mind tingling, and as a LT, you don't need that shit.
"... I felt that something
"... I felt that something had to be done, but alas I had no evidence."
Don't worry. That will be legal soon.
@1st year LT Thank you for
@1st year LT
Thank you for that comment. God has truly blessed us with the finest fighting force in the world. Happy Memorial Day weekend. May God keep our officer corps sane.
We ask too much of our young
We ask too much of our young officers. We should pay them more, and send them to law school or business school for free after their service.
We have so much too be grateful. To our young officers!
In memory of our fallen
In memory of our fallen officers in the field.
Fallen officer's ? Wet
Fallen officer's ? Wet cookies ? Someone's daughter in a strip club ? Obama not at the tomb of the unknown memorial service...........................
Get your minds right.
It is about all of us, our liberty, and our fallen (not just officers)...........
What ever happened to doing something cause it was the right thing to do? Does there always have to be a financial return (law school?) or self gratification ?
That is a little to much change for me to handle. Tradition has it's place, it reminds us who we are and teaches our children what to be.
Zak, You obviously know
Zak,
You obviously know nothing of the "Solutions" industry in Washington. It's all about the money, baby.
God bless strippers.
God bless strippers.
The peanut butter cookie
The peanut butter cookie story in the comments here is funnier than anything in the Washington post article. And yeas god bless our officers and soldiers too.
1st year LT, Great story,
1st year LT,
Great story, you shoud've written an article for NY Times or the Washington Post for all officers everywhere to reminisce the stupidity of their enlisted on this occasion. Maybe write a memoir while you're at it too, or start a blog, or join some kinda think tank. Who cares if it doesn't sell, there's always the Kindle edition. Or you could always blog about your book 5 yrs after to get sales back up. Let's make money this Memorial Day, and cash in on our experiences. Our officers end up in DC, while our enlisted in Wal-Mart. God bless America.
I guess we're still a far
I guess we're still a far cry from the 1st Earth Battalion.
Money......yup. We use to
Money......yup.
We use to protect our children from it, now they think it is normal. When in Rome.
See Obama did not make it to the memorial service in Chicago......it rained. Biden was at Arlington. Friend of mind buried a lot of Vietnam vets there. His brother was shot square in the chest by one of the North's best. Wonder if it rained Vietnam that day?
Think Biden will run for Prez.
Biden's only chance at POTUS
Biden's only chance at POTUS is current chokes on a peanut butter cracker...
Don't worry Zak, enforced by circumstance austerity will come to DC.
Wow. It took a couple days
Wow. It took a couple days for the crazies to hit this thread.
Yeah, WTF is Visitor 1038's
Yeah, WTF is Visitor 1038's problem? One of my enlisted Rangers lives here in DC and works as a political appointee in the Obama Administration. The difference between enlisted soldiers and officers upon leaving the service in terms of career options has a lot, I suspect, to do with whether or not you have a college degree (which my Ranger buddy has) -- the civilian world, in general, could care less about whether you were an officer or enlisted. I suspect the bitterness Visitor 1038 has toward those veterans who have written about their experiences and gone on to work in policy is not representative, but here's a question anyway: would he rather me had just gone into I-Banking and made money? Because that's more lucrative than think-tankery. Would he have resented me then?Heh. I laughed when I read
Heh. I laughed when I read SNL2's comment. I'm a former Infantry Officer. I ETS'd in 2008. I finished my MBA and I'm beginning my last year of law school. I paid for it with deployment money and private student loans. Guess what I'm doing after I graduate and take the bar exam? Going back in the Army (no, not as a JAG). I look forward to possibly returning at a lower pay grade and having my break in service frowned upon by future promotion boards and command lists. And I have to second Abu M's statement about think tanks. You couldn't pay me enough to work in one of those. It sounds about as exciting as being a lawyer. If you guys think sitting in an office building all day, doing research, and writing memos is fun, then there is nothing holding you back from doing it. But I think you'll be sorely disappointed if you ever work up the ambition to peel your ass off of your parents' couch and go do it.
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