Abu Muqawama: Post
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America in Australia
The U.S. occupation of Australia has begun. U.S. officials claim the occupation has nothing to do with the behavior of China, leading defense analysts to conclude this has more to do with helping Australia counter the well-publicized scourge of baby-stealing dingos down under. The problem with this kind of dingo-centric "strategy" -- can you even call it that, or is it just a collection of tactics? -- is that it's hard to see how the U.S. Marine Corps will maintain its core competencies while in Australia. I have made a careful study of the U.S. Marine Corps from 1942 to 1945, and based on that study, I have concluded that amphibious landings are really the heart and soul of the Corps. The history of the U.S. Marine Corps from 1775-1941 and from 1946-present is also quite interesting and may well have included some other stuff, to include counter-dingo operations, but it is largely irrelevant as far as Marine culture and doctrine are concerned. No, amphibious operations are the only thing that really matters, which is why I am also concerned the costly deployment of Marines to Australia will endanger the long-term health of the Expeditionary Fighting Vehicle, without which the U.S. Marine Corps would surely decide to turn in their uniforms and weapons, grow out their hair and take up hemp farming in Idaho.
There are other things that trouble me about this deployment. How many cultural advisors, for example, have these Marines deployed with? How many Marines in each platoon speak the local language or have any training in the tribes and customs of the Australians? How many Marines know that an "Australian" is what you call a native, whereas an "Australiani" is the local unit of currency? (I predict that ten years from now, it will still be possible for esteemed professors of international relations at Harvard to get these two terms confused in the pages of the New York Times.) I understand that U.S. Marines believe "Fosters" is the Australian word for beer, but I worry that few of them know that it is also the Australian word for "cat urine."
Finally, it may make sense today to limit the U.S. mission in Australia to a struggle to disrupt, dismantle and defeat the dingo menace. But inevitably, U.S. Marines will be drawn into adjudicating the petty internal rivalries of Australia. Without a proper understanding of Australia's culture or troubled history, U.S. Marines will create winners and losers among the population, which will eventually tire of our heavy-handedness. Equally inevitably, well-meaning U.S. Marines will offend Australians by asking awkward questions, like, "Why are all your rugby players from Fiji?"
Australia is a land populated by criminals, which is why Alexander the Great stopped well short of there. (Alexander the Great understood defense in depth.) The British Empire has been humiliated in Australia time and time again, and there is no reason to imagine that we Americans will have any more luck. I fear we are embarking on another fool's errand.
Being stationed in cyclone
Being stationed in cyclone alley can only strengthen the USMC's amphibious skilz, if only per the theory that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Reuter's list of Australia's deadliest cyclones
It may be a fools errand, but
It may be a fools errand, but we must try! Ending the dingo menace is vital to our domestic safety and territorial integrity, because if Australia falls, it's only a matter of time before we fall to them too.
Abu M, Your neglect of what
Abu M,
Your neglect of what both Clausewitz and Jomini, to say nothing of fellow Asia-Pacific denizen Sun Tzu, wrote regarding The Land Down Under, once more betrays extraordinary petty parochialism as well as a really quite bizarre fixation on irregulars in the Levant (whose absence of proficiency in paintball itself betrays shoddy small-unit tactics evident to even the casual observer). Do you require a massive tome by Stathis Kalyvas to enlighten you as to the distinguished intellectual pedigree surrounding Dingo Centric Warfare? Some of the finest intellectuals in military thought have grappled with the complexities of Sheila Based Operations. SIPA and Columbia deserve better, and quite frankly, so does CNAS and your myriad other employers (which undoubtedly include the CIA, PETA and NAMBLA). This blog has been going downhill for quite some time. Cut your losses and call it a day, and take up honest work, and maybe listen to some Kylie Minogue, Midnight Oil, INXS or even Natalie Imbruglia while you're at it. Leave Oz for the professionals.
V/R
ADTS
I see you've played Knifey
I see you've played Knifey Spoony before!
Gee, why can't you guys take
Gee, why can't you guys take us seriously? Someone has to, since we don't
I hope they've been briefed
I hope they've been briefed on the wattle. You know you can stick it a bottle, or hold it in your hand.
I find your comments callous
I find your comments callous and insensitive.\
This situation represents a moral, humanitarian imperative which the United States cannot ignore, Those that say that that it is just the dingos way, that they should be left alone to practice their age old traditions, are exhibiting the type of moral relativism which is bringing Western Civilisation to its knees.
We all know the horror represented by the brutal abduction and murder of infants.
Less well publicised is the ongoing devastating economic impact perpetrated on isolated in rural communities, far from the control of the central government, as dingos wreak havoc on sheep and other livestock.
This must stop. Something must be done!
I just missed Cubi Point and
I just missed Cubi Point and now I'm missing a semi-permanent presence in another one of the greatest places for deployment/liberty in the world. And yes, I know Darwin is not Fremantle/Perth but still.
Great post. Fun. Cheeky. And
Great post. Fun. Cheeky. And at the end, it even had a point.
Isn't that why we have an airforce? So we don't have to land on other peoples countries and establish bases? America would find herself better off adopting a "lighter footprint" of deterrence when it comes to conventional war.
Id love an American to try &
Id love an American to try & track a Dingo. Take you off into the wilderness where there is no water & leave you there! As for Visitor he has no idea. Cyclone Alley is not in the Northern Territory! Warmonger fears that if Australia FALLS the US will too-how stupid. Australia has stood on it's feet & will do so without US hinderence. Fix your own Economy & stay out of Asia. Your record in China, 19C & 20C is one of shame. MR
Jesse Aizenstat, During
Jesse Aizenstat,
During forcible entry operations, militaries require intermediate staging bases. It's not feasible to strategically deploy a force from America to a hypothetical asian country without stopping somewhere along the way. Having the bases allow for refuel/refit of the aircraft, final coordinations of air/ground forces, and several critical events.
For example, the deployment of an airborne brigade combat team (plus enablers such as artillery, engineers, and command post) for such a deployment would require every fueler in the Air Force inventory to be dedicated to refueling the transport aircraft. This would allow for no pre-assault fires (save perhaps naval gunfire), greatly increasing the risk to the mission and soldiers.
As a qualified Australia
As a qualified Australia foreign area officer, based off one very hazy semester of college study abroad and some subsequent short visits, this Marine is willing to accept the high risks inherent to operations amongst the Australians. Cockney style word games, short shorts, and Blunstone boots hold no fear for me. Additionally, I am well armed, having read "3 Pints of Toohey's" and once survived a 3 day bus trip from Broken Hill, NSW to Cairns, QLD on rotgut bourbon and meat pies alone. Bloody oath!
Because Australia has done
Because Australia has done nothing to stop the dingo problem, it is part of the axis of evil... Deliver us the evil dingo lord or we will bring American brand of justice to the alleys of Sydney. Next stop, we will occupy Canada to stop the Yeti threat once and for all!
@MR, "Your record in China,
@MR,
"Your record in China, 19C & 20C is one of shame."
This is stupid and wrong. The United States did more to ensure the freedom and independence of China in the 19th and 20th centuries than ANY other country. China owes its independence, and even its existence to the USA. (Not that I expect any gratitude for this, since after all the USA thought an intact, independent China was in American interests.)
As for the Australian deployment, the US is moving Marines OUT of Okinawa at the same time the US is moving Marines into Australia. Yeah, they're not the same Marines, but the net result is that the Marines are 2,000 miles further away from China. Is Beijing really scared yet?
Strewth, its always funny
Strewth, its always funny when Seppos think they can tackle something even we ozzies can't kill and whack on a barbie. Only a Galah'd think its a walk in the park!
Translation to American:
While American Marines indeed represent a superb military force, even if they appear to inflict a victory over the Dingo menace, the resources required for the subsequent COIN and surge strategies will be significant....
Muzza, the only time
Muzza, the only time australia has really had to stand its ground was world war 2. This couldnt have been done without american involvement, stop being ignorant. Im australian but I believe a U.S. Presence has far more benefits for us than people recognise.
The principal difficulty that
The principal difficulty that these brave Marines face, as Marines have faced in occupations from Iraq to the Philippines to Wall Street, lies not in beating up the natives (easy); nor is it in winning over their hearts, minds and, on weekend nights, their loins (also easy); nor indeed does it lie in squirting out an American Soft-Power presence un-removable with even the toughest detergent (a harder challenge, but still quite easy if the proper balance of Lady GaGa and Top Gun is blasted in the indigenous folk's direction).
No indeed. The real test is conforming their drinking habits to native custom. For over two centuries Marines have seen off formidable challengers, be it beer from San Miguel or Sapporo, wine from Chateau-Thierry, fermented dates from rotting Anbari palm trees and God knows what else. But to go toe to toe against Australians at drinking beer? It's madness, plain and simple.
Croc infestation of the North
Croc infestation of the North is reaching critical levels. I think any counter-dingo operation undertaken by the USMC to help us out must include a two-pronged approach to combat the furtherment of the crocodile species - namely the spread of the salty into the public pools of Darwin.
Additional language note from a mothertongue speaker of Australiani: "bogan" = Australian word for "hick" or "redneck". Critical word to know considering the demographic of the US Armed Forces. Ohhhhh no he didn't! PWNED!
Wildlife warning: Lather vegemite behind the ears when on walks in the "j" to ward off drop bears
Sir, As a patriot and current
Sir,
As a patriot and current Devil Dog, I have successfully completed a two year tour on Okinawa. I am an expert on local Japanese women and schooled in the fine art of beach seduction and night club ethics. I look forward to the mission ahead in Australia. The local blonde haired, blue-eyed female population in Australia will be a tough cookie to crack, but I must say I look forward to the mission.
Echo 4 Delta OUT!
Since the Marines are being
Since the Marines are being based in the Northern Territory, this has to count as a hardship assignment. Now if they got based in Perth, or something, that might have a bad impact on readiness....
The working girls of
The working girls of Australia will sure celebrate!
Ha! I salute the optimism of
Ha! I salute the optimism of Mt Tyler Durden. Having lived for a while in Darwin I can attest to the simple fact that Darwinian women are a different breed to those found in my fair city state of Sydney. Well versed he may be on beach side seduction but he may find teh fact that many people, men and women, in our Far North are (in the best possible way) freaking bat shit crazy to be more of an obstacle then he and his fellow Devil Dogs may have accounted for.
But play on Sir! We on the gentle shores of the East Coast rest easier knowing that Marines will be taking care of business (and dingoes) .
Just for the love of god don't drink that Fosters piss, its worse than American beer.
And you think Marines and
And you think Marines and criminals can't get along together? I know some criminals. I know some Marines. I know some Marines are are criminals. They seem to get along swimmingly to me. But I could be wrong.
HPS
http://www.captainsjournal.com/
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