Deptartment of How the Hell Did This Happen?

Why is Johan Santana going to the Mets? I mean really, what cosmic forces aligned to let this happen? Why isn't he joining Josh Beckett to form the greatest pitching line-up of the 21 st Century guaranteeing five-to-seven years of Red Sox domination? And how pissed is Charlie that we got outfoxed by the effing Mets? It's like being out-penny-pinched by the Air Force.