April 27, 2009

Surviving the Swine Flu

So this has nothing to do with counter-insurgency per se, but I noticed in the Post this morning that the Swine Flu is especially hammering young adults. One explanation for this is that we youngish folks tend to have really strong immune systems, and those immune systems go into overdrive trying to fight the flu and end up destroying throat and lung tissue in the process. Our only real hope, then, is to weaken the hell out of our immune systems. Some tips:

  1. If you don't smoke, now is a good time to start.
  2. Christopher Hitchens says that martinis are like breasts: One is one too few, while three is one too many. Well, to hell with that rule. Have at least four tonight.
  3. If you got a lot of rest this weekend, bully for you. But you now need to stay up for the next 72 hours living off a diet of black coffee and cigarettes. Oh, and gin.

I should now point out that I am a specialist in small wars and not in medicine or infectious diseases. If you are reading this blog in search of medical advice, God help you. But I, for one, am taking a weeklong break from the vitamins on my desk. And I have just given you an excuse to live like Iggy Pop for the next week.