April 01, 2011
The Greatest U.S. Army Jokes Ever
Hey, did you see the U.S. Army's homepage today? They announced the Stetson hat will be the new official U.S. Army headgear. Hilarious April Fools joke, right? Because we can all remember that time when the U.S. Army decided the black beret would be the universal headgear so that all soldiers could feel elite like U.S. Army Rangers. That plan did not go so well when the U.S. Army's leaders, figuring a change of headgear was enough, neglected to then hold soldiers to a high standard of physical fitness, neatness of dress, care of equipment, etc. And so we were left with a bunch of overweight soldiers who looked like French pastry chefs. Good times!
Anyway, I spent the early morning hours trying to come up with some other great jokes and pranks the U.S. Army has played through its history (with some help from the gang on Twitter). What follows is hardly an exhaustive list, so add your own suggestions in the comments section.
- The Battle of Little Big Horn
- The personnel system
- The XM 2001 Crusader
- Airborne School
- Tommy Franks
- The Iraq War, 2003-2007
- The APFT
- "Dwell Time" between deployments
- The Chosin Reservoir (the Marines still do not think this was very funny, but honestly, they need to lighten up)
- The grey teddy bear fleece
- And the reflective belt: